Children built sand trays with mementos of people and pets who had died, a craft project designed to help them share their emotions and support one another, at Saturday's Family Day for Camp BraveHeart at the Save The Bay Center in Providence.
PROVIDENCE — Olivia Peloquin remembers her Pepe as a funny man who told jokes, sang silly songs and loved to explore.
On Saturday, the 9-year-old illustrated her love for her grandfather, who died last year of pancreatic cancer, with a miniature passport for his trip to Italy, seashells for their beach walks, a paintbrush and a tiny casket in a sand tray in a sun-filled room looking out on Narragansett Bay.
"He was the funniest guy I know," Olivia recalled at a Family Day at the Save The Bay Center for Camp BraveHeart, a summer camp program that offers a safe and nurturing environment to help children cope with grief.
The family found the camp through HopeHealth Hospice & Palliative Care, which helped care for her Pepe — N. David Bouley — in his final days.
"They were having a hard time," said Sue Bouley as she gestured toward her granddaughters, Olivia and her younger sister, Abby.
"It seemed to really help," said their mom, Catherine Cardin. And Family Day, a day for the children and families to reconnect, just so happened to fall on what would have been Pepe's 70th birthday.
For 13 years, Camp BraveHeart has provided children like Olivia, who have experienced the death of a loved one, a chance to meet other kids who also have suffered a loss. Amid typical summer camp activities, the children get to bond over losses that some of their classmates have not yet endured.
Claire Cunningham, 12, of East Providence, also lost her grandmother three years ago to pancreatic cancer.
"I wasn't there at the time," she said. "I felt really bad that I wasn't there."
She selected stones that read "faith" and "courage" to put in the sand tray honoring her grandmother. "She gave me faith and courage," Claire said.
Claire marvels at the others she's met at Camp BraveHeart, a free bereavement summer camp held in August at Camp Aldersgate in Scituate.
"It's nice to be around other people," she said. "It's really cool, because they are so strong."
Tom Meade has volunteered with Camp BraveHeart since he wrote a story about it for The Journal eight years ago. He took a vacation week that year to help out and has continued to help since.
Meade, a freelance writer, recalled the camp session kicking off with everyone blowing a bubble for someone who had lost a parent, grandparent, friend or other loved one, including pets. Soon the air was filled with bubbles.
"There is no one who hasn't been touched by death," Meade said, flanked by Olivia and another little girl wearing a rainbow unicorn horn.
Each child puts up a photo of the loved one he or she lost, and soon the kids connect over their grief, he said. "They're walking off sharing their grief in a kids' way, and you know that those children are going to be friends forever."
Therapists stand by to support the children.
"The kids really, truly lean on each other," Meade said. "The kids do all the heavy lifting."
"There's not a lot of support out there for children for bereavement," said camp coordinator Sarah Cordeiro, a grief counselor. "Having that opportunity is really important, whether they take it or not."
Saturday's event was designed to support parents, too. Participants drew outlines of their bodies and filled them with words and images that expressed their emotions. Therapists led a workshop for parents on how to support children while they are grieving themselves.
"I think it's important for kids to see what their parents are going through," Cordeiro said.
For more information about Camp BraveHeart, visit hopehealthco.org and scroll down to "How We Help," where grief camps are linked under "Grief Support Services."
— kmulvane@providencejournal.com
(401) 277-7417
On Twitter: @kmulvane
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